Pre-treatment #2 update

Hello readers!  How is everyone?  I've been doing great!

I went in for a CBC this past Tuesday and saw the nurse practitioner about my numbers.  She said my counts are doing great!  She even thought I had received a Neulasta shot.  This shot is supposed to improve my white blood count #s in the event they are very very low (usually used so that chemo treatments don't have to be postponed waiting for your immune system to rebuild itself).  I went in for a Lupron shot in my booty (intramuscular shot) on Friday.  This shot effectively shuts down my ovaries and egg production to protect them from the effects of chemo.  My oncologist pushed for this and we discussed it with my fertility specialist while we were doing IVF.  He said that there is no real proof that getting the shot actually reduces chemo's effects, but it doesn't do any harm to get it.  So I'll be getting this shot in my butt every 28 days.  The potential side effects are a sore butt and hot flashes.  So far, I've only experienced the soreness and it feels like I did a lot of squats with only 1 side of my ass.  I'm still waiting for my hair to fall out - so far, nothing's happening.

I've been able to work from home for full work days without getting tired.  It feels great to be productive again rather than being fatigued and just sleeping.  I've gotten visits from my HS best friends :)  It was awesome to catch up with them!  Also had visits from some coworkers and that is always fun!  I saw Kingsman last night (great movie, lots of violence) and we have plans to watch Once (Broadway play) on Sunday.  I feel like a normal person!

My 2nd treatment is scheduled for Tuesday morning.  Adios till then!

Post-Chemo Sesh 1 Days

Howdy!  So the last few days have been unremarkable.  Seriously.  I don't even know what to write about.

I've been logging onto work to try to contribute as much as I can.  That amount has been minimal and I feel out-of-the-loop, but I'm slowly ramping back up.  My energy levels have been okay - I have to take a nap in the middle of the afternoons because I'm just pooped.  I have this super comfortable recliner that I got from my good friend Patricia's stepdad 2 years ago (Thanks John!).  It is the MOST cushion-y comfy best thing ever and that's where I nap.  I love it.  My mom, when she sat in it for the first time, fell asleep in a matter of minutes.  But my mom, as some of you may know, is borderline narcoleptic.  You could be talking to the woman and she'll fall asleep seconds after you finish your sentence.

Other than fatigue, which is the most common side effect that I was warned of, I experience mild nausea every other day.  I take generic Zofran for it and that medicine is amazing.  It's a minty dissolving tablet so I can take it even when I'm like gagging.  It works fast and lasts 8 hours.  Highly recommend.  I've been getting nausea from some of the flowers I've received :(  Poor Damien has been relocating the flowers between the study and the dining table, depending on if I can stand the fragrance that day.

We've also been hyper-aware of my lowered immunity.  Earlier this week, Damien was going into the office for work since his home office setup hadn't yet been finalized.  On Thursday, he went in and one of my coworkers was in discussion with other coworkers about how he was sick.  Damien didn't even get a chance to sit down - he just turned around and left to come home.  We work in an 'open collaborative environment' meaning we're about 2 feet away from everyone else at tables.  No cubes, no offices, germs everywhere.  Coming to work sick is so inconsiderate!  We have unlimited sick time and can work from home pretty easily.  I've been guilty of going to work kinda sick in the past (the pressure to perform, man) so I can't give him that much shit.  I just can't take my immune system for granted anymore!  I'm already basically a hermit and having lowered immunity legitimizes it :D  I go in on Tuesday to get a CBC (complete blood count) so I can see exactly how the chemo has affected my blood numbers.

Texas had its first same-sex marriage this past Thursday!  I think it's wonderful.  In one of their interviews (that I can't find for the life of me), one of the women said something to the effect of there is a difference between being someone's girlfriend/fiancee and someone's wife as you go through life.    Damien and I have been married for about a month now and that sentiment is what made us move to get married so quickly after my diagnosis.  Being my husband gives him the legal rights to make decisions on my behalf that he could not as just my boyfriend or fiance.  It gave us peace of mind to know we're a unit in this together, especially in dealing with this cancer.  It makes me sad to think there are people that cannot go through this process as easily as Damien and I did and who cannot say that their legally-recognized spouse should be in the exam room when severe medical issues arise.

Enough of that!  Happy Chinese New Year everyone!  This is the first year that I'm not getting red envelopes.  no longer an unmarried child, I am.  I also just ordered checks for our joint checking account.  I feel old.

Chemo Day + Day 1

Sorry for delaying this post!  I started it earlier today, but just got really tired.

Yesterday 2/16 was my first chemo session at the Round Rock Austin Cancer Centers.  I went into the chemo lounge and it was fairly full.  The oncology nurse asked a patient's wife if she could swap chairs so Damien could have a chair next to me.  Everyone - nurses, patients, patients' family members - is so nice! We talked with several people - one was a lady who had had beat breast cancer 7 years ago and I wasn't sure why she's back.  Another lady was undergoing her first chemo treatment.  Another guy was there for IV iron before chemo.  

My oncologist isn't at that location on Mondays so we saw his nurse practitioner who is really good and responsive.  She gave me the rundown of pre-meds: aloxi, palonosetron, dexamethasone, decadron, emend.  They're mostly steroids and anti-nausea meds so I wouldn't feel like complete crap.  The nurse, Terri-Lynn (?), accessed my port and started me off on those drips and I made myself comfy in the lounge chair.  The pre-meds take about an hour and then she starts the chemo drugs.  My chemo regimen is called ABVD because it consists of 4 drugs.  I start off with a small test dose of Bleomycin to make sure I don't have any reactions in 30 minutes.  After that, the rest of the Bleomycin is given.  The next drip was a fat bag of Dacarbazine.  The last 2 drugs were given to me as a push into the line - Adriamycin (the really red drug in the pic below) and Vinblastine.  And I'm done!  It took a total of 4 hours.  I napped a few times during the drips and got nauseous once, but didn't throw up.  Damien left to get my anti-nausea meds that I had forgotten to pack and came back with lunch - a almond butter sandwich, apple sauce, and banana.  I was STARVING.  I ate the sandwich and apple sauce in the lobby.  The rest of the day was spent resting and just chilling.

Today, I woke up feeling good!  No pain in my chest or coughing!  I usually have to take a vicodin as soon as I get up because the chest pain is overwhelming, but not today!  I didn't take one till about 5PM when I started getting phlegm and a cough (that's gone now though).  I felt really tired all day and could't really focus on reading or TV.  I napped several times and just kept drinking water.  My appetite was meh - I could eat but didn't really feel like it.  But all in all, it was a good day!

Chemo number 1

Adriamycin

Flowers :)

Egg Retrieval: Complete

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  Hope everyone is enjoying it with their loved ones or loving themselves all the same.

Damien and I spent the first half of it at St. David's Fertility Surgery Center for my egg retrieval procedure.  It was a quick, easy procedure and I was in good spirits.  It's a little funny to be making babies so mechanically on Valentine's Day.  I'm amazed that in the face of fertility impediments or impossibilities, humans can still take eggs and sperm, create an embryo, and eventually transfer that embryo that hopefully results in a pregnancy.  Medicine is amazing!

I get to St. David's at 8AM and am greeted by cheerful nurses that explain everything, have me sign consent forms, and give me an ugly gown to wear. One of the nurses tries to start an IV in my left elbow pit and my vein is uncooperative, as expected.  Boo to my left elbow pit!  The surgery nurse comes in and starts an IV in my right elbow pit with 0 problems and I start getting fluids.  They wheel me back to the surgery room and I hop up onto a skinny table that is barely wider than me.  Seriously, how do they keep the normal-sized people on there?  The anesthesiologist gets to work in no time because as I'm placing my arms on the awkwardly positioned arm boards and telling them how awkward it is (the tumor gets in the way of left arm mobility), I pass the eff out.  He probably did that to shut me up :x. Lady, quit complaining, you're not even gonna be feeling this.

I wake up like 25 minutes later and it's done! I always wake up so confused and kinda pissed that I missed everything.  At least I got to keep my glasses on and could see where I was going.  I'm wheeled back to the room and get crackers, water, and 2 percocets.  The crackers after a surgery are always so yummy!  They become the best-tasting things I've ever eaten because I've had to fast since midnight and forgo breakfast.  Never mind that it's only 10AM and on normal days that I don't eat breakfast, I can usually survive with minimal whining until noon.  We leave the surgery center around 10:15.  So quick!

We pick up my resized ring, pick up lunch, and go home so I can rest. I ate my first real meal that isn't the BRAT diet in days - a chicken teriyaki bento box. I'm feeling good so far but the cramping is starting. I took about a 4 hour nap and here I am now!  I'm still cramping (a little worse now actually).  I feel like I did when I got my IUD put in so I'm confident I'll feel fine tomorrow.

Damien's gonna be making me steak for valentine's day!!!! Bye everyone

Good news day!

Today was a good news day!  

I went to the fertility specialist for another ultrasound and I am FINALLY ready to get these eggs taken out of me!  Egg retrieval is scheduled for Saturday at 9AM.  That means 1 last shot (a lupron trigger shot that is supposed to make my follicles ovulate) given at a very specific time and I'm done (with fertility shots, for now, that is).  We also got the results of a CBC (Complete Blood Count) test back.  It shows my hemoglobin numbers increased a smidge, which indicates I might have responded a bit to the IV iron infusion from Friday.  The only meh news was that my Anti-Mullerian Hormone levels (AMH), which is used to indicate 'ovarian reserve', are low.  I basically have the ovaries of a 40 year-old and a low number of eggs.  The doctor said it's hard to say if it's caused by the cancer or if my ovaries would have just naturally sucked, but that news is kinda sad.

I also dropped off my wedding ring to get some 'speed bumps' put in on the inside so it'll fit my finger better.  It's too loose now because I lost weight in the last 3 weeks.  Since it's an eternity ring, it's more difficult to resize as there's no clear section of metal to cut off/add to.  I miss it being on my finger already!

Apparently, I look like Monica Chan Fat Yung, a Hong Kong actress.  I've never watched anything she's been in so..sure? 

Here's my movie star pic for comparison:

Chemo #1 of Cycle #1 scheduled!

I scheduled my 1st chemo treatment for Monday, February 16th at 9AM!  This will timebox the fertility stuff but as my MIL told me today: there are other options [for having kids], but getting you well is NOT an option.

The nurse said my first session would take 4 - 5 hours since they take it slower and check for med allergies.  She told me to be sure to eat breakfast beforehand.

I'm in full-on anticipation anxiety - ready to get started but scared about the experience.  I'm curious about the whole process but would rather not go through it myself to find out more. 

Today was another rough day for nausea and eating.  The ondansetron prevents the nausea feeling but then I throw up with barely any warning.  My mom has been good about making me broth and prompting me to eat.  Damien's been researching nausea ad nauseam (hah!) and has been educating me.  I am to eat little meals every 2 hours consisting of bland foods (bananas, applesauce, rice, toast, clear broth) and don't lie down after eating. 

I received 2 more greeting cards from my Austin and Cary coworkers.  The messages were so uplifting and kind.  It is so encouraging to have people take a little time out of their day to write a little note.  I'm a sap!  The VP of Engineering, along with the QA automation manager and a sysadmin, also made me a "dance" video which I laughed my ass off at.  My coworkers are pretty awesome :)

The one with all the ultrasounds and nausea

I've been meaning to update but I've been feeling so meh and tired at night lately.  I feel fine during the day but have bouts of fatigue and just fall asleep on the couch. 

So in the last 5 days, I've had about a dozen (or in reality 2) ultrasounds for the fertility preservation I'm going through.  The follicle sizes and extradiol levels continue to rise albeit very very slowly.  The new target egg retrieval date is now Saturday or Sunday.  I'm reluctant to push back chemo again but I don't want to stop fertility especially when the numbers are going up.  The hormones continue to drive me nuts and now the nausea is getting really bad.  I threw up twice this morning and ended up busting out my anti-nausea prescription of ondansetron (generic Zofran) that I got in preparation for chemo. I feel lots better but that could also be because I parked my ass on the couch and didn't move.  And the hot flashes, jeeze!  I will start sweating like I'm in 105 degree 98% humidity weather just out of the blue. After about 15 minutes of that, I'll be freezing and have to put on a hoodie.  All this in my nice 68 degree climate-controlled house. Enough about this - This post is getting so negative!  Oh yea, my laptop is back!!  I brought it to the Apple store, told them my sob story, and they reset the power management and it started working again. Yay!

I had another IV iron infusion on Friday at the cancer center.  The chemo lounge with all the comfy chairs was full so I had to do the infusion alone.  Usually, they allow a family member to sit with you, but the other 4 or 5 people who were getting their chemo/infusions had family members with them.  But it's all good - the infusion only lasted 30 minutes.  The nurses there are so nice and they already know my history and diagnosis even though I haven't met them.  It makes me feel very welcome and genuinely cared for. I was the youngest person there getting treatment and felt so out of place.  I could feel the staring (maybe it was because my hair looked gooood) when I walked in and sat in a chair.  I don't blame them since I did a fair bit of staring myself.  I want to know talk to them and know their stories.  But what's the cancer etiquette there?

I picked up my wedding band today!  It's gorgeous!  We skipped the engagement ring because our engagement period was all of 3 days.  I looooove it!

Farewell, hair!

It's (almost) all gone!  

Yesterday, I went to my favorite stylist, Laura, at Studio Tilee and asked her to cut my long past-my-midback hair that she had just redid the ombre on almost exactly a month ago into a short short pixie cut.  I've been going to Laura for 1.5 years for my hair cuts and ombre.  She's GOOD, always listens to what I want, and has done an awesome job of getting my hair from dark brown to the eventual ash brown/blond ombre that I've always wanted.  I highly recommend her. 

My mom was there for support and to keep my siblings and Damien updated.  For the record, Peggy, I didn't cry at all, so hah!  Laura started off by putting my hair into a ponytail and lopping that off.  Then she cut and trimmed and did magic on my hair while I recounted the cancer story that went down in the last month.  Oh, she's also a great listener!  At the end of it all, I had a cute pixie cut that I'm still getting used.  It's a surprise every time I pass by the mirror.  My hair hasn't been this short.. ever.  I keep trying to tuck phantom hairs behind my ears and petting the back of my own head (feels funny).  I'm ready for the low maintenance part and for this short do to fall out after chemo starts.  Having my normal long hair fall out would have been too traumatic to my identity, I think.  And gross.

Before:

 

And after!

My mom took a video too!  I'll edit the post and add that in a bit.

My ovaries are stubborn

Says my obgyn/reproductive endocrinologist/fertility specialist.  I had another ultrasound to check on the state of my follicles earlier this morning.  The largest one is 12mm which is still too small to consider egg retrieval.  Depending on my blood work results, which we will get later today, we will either cancel this cycle or we will continue with the follicle stimulation hormones (FSH) and recheck on Thursday.  My doctor says it's not hopeless yet, so I feel much better about the situation. However, if we continue, I will have to push chemo back until next week.

I think the FSH drugs are making me emotional beyond what I normally am.  Yesterday, my laptop got wet and I tried to remove the motherboard to thoroughly dry it.. All the meanwhile sobbing my eyes out.  I really liked my laptop and it was a gift from Damien 2 years ago and now it's dead!  Seems like a good reason to bawl, right?  (Answer: no, it's just a laptop). Today, I cried about the fact that I was crying too much.  Seriously. 

I did get to see some good friends yesterday and received some very thoughtful care packages the last few days.  Of course, that made me cry with happiness.  I love you guys!  I have a hard time dealing with all the attention but I really do appreciate it. 

My parents are currently driving down from Dallas.  I can't wait to see them and eat my mom's cooking before chemo starts.  I know they're excited to see me as a married woman (hah) and their new son-in-law.  My dad made sure to stop by Bistro B to get a ridiculous number of egg rolls (like 40 of 'em) just for Damien before they left this morning. 

And this is weekend update with KP

What a relaxing weekend!  We had no other plans other than GoT at the IMAX and cleaning our study.  GoT looked amazing on the huge screen at the museum.  I had forgotten how gory the show was and I had to look away several times for the slashier scenes.  I felt great on Saturday - very little pain but I could tell my shoulder is still healing from the port surgery. 

We woke up at 6:30AM this morning to get get my blood drawn for the fertility stuff.  The ultrasound appointment was at 10:30 and we got some encouraging news.  My follicles increased in size a bit from Friday so there's a tiny bit of hope there. We'll continue with the fertility injections and check again on Tuesday.  I've been reading about ABVD's effect on fertility and am feeling better about my odds.  Female HL patients who had survived without recurrence > or =3 years and who had attempted pregnancy after ABVD did not experience significant sub-fertility.  [From the abstract
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17036376]

So this Super Bowl thing is kinda exciting. 

Tomorrow should be an uneventful day (I love those types of days!)  My parents come down to see me on Tuesday and I'm getting my hair cut super short on Wednesday.  Expect some pictures!