Night before chemo #4

So tomorrow will be chemo #4 and the end of cycle 2. I'll either be 1/2 or 1/3 done with chemo!  The total number of cycles is still up in the air.  It'll either be a total of 4 cycles or 6 cycles depending on what my PET scan looks like. That'll happen in a few weeks.  Boy, time flies! (Not really)

This past week has been uneventful.  No news is good news, right!?  This week has dragged on and I've been anticipating this next chemo with mild waves of nausea.  Last Friday, I had a CBC (my WBC and  neutrophils are lower than normal, no big surprise).  I've never done a CBC with this nurse (Laverne) before and she offered me the option of getting blood drawn through the port.  I normally get blood drawn by needle in my arm by the guy who also runs the lab so I was like why not?! No needle in my arm sounds great!  I was wrong. So wrong.  Getting anything in and out of a port requires a saline and heparin flush to prevent clotting.  And the thing about getting those 2 through the port is that you can taste them - and they taste like a hospital smells and I've associated that smell/taste with chemo.  I instantly get nauseous when she does the initial flush and again when she flushes before yanking the needle out of my chest.  Most of the nausea of chemo with none of the benefits (wait, did I just say that?). Well, to be fair, I also didn't get any of the fatigue or followup nausea of chemo.  But the less nauseous I can choose to be, the better.  I've learned my lesson, Laverne.

I've also been wearing my fuzzy almost-bald hair out and about. I mostly don't care what people think of my hair.  I did wear a knit hat to the Target and Home Depot out in way West Austin, but now I feel ignorant for doing so. I didn't want people staring but after walking around the outer part of HD in 85° degree with a stupid knit cap, I ripped it off and stopped caring. It only took that one time. Now the "cold" on the other hand, haha. I put that in quotes because it's only dropped to about 60° in the last week and I wore a small hat out because eff that breeze.  I hadn't realize how much insulation hair gave to my neck and head. I've only had little kids stare, but seriously, they will stare at anything.  I've had one person ask what happened to my hair. It was the sushi chef at a Korean restaurant Damien and I go to about once a quarter. I'm not sure if he recognized me or was just curious. I told him I had cancer. He apologized and hoped I got better. NBD.

Damien and I have started walking and sort of running 2 miles everyday. This started when my parents were still in town. They're not here now and I miss them tremendously.  My mom texted to ask if I wanted them down in Austin this treatment and I called them back only to get the instant hangup-straight-to-voicemail. She then texts and tells me they're at the movies... kids these days. Anyways, back to the walk-running.  In the 2 miles we traverse, I only run about 1/8 of it.  I've never been a runner and can't seem to push myself to run for more than a few minutes. I get bored and then focus on the uncomfortable feeling of running and soon, I get overwhelmed with the feeling to stop. So I do. I'm going to try to be better about being motivated and my endurance.  Damien has been by my side cheering me on (and also working on his own fitness, yay). My goal is to be able to run a whole mile nonstop by my 30th birthday.  Haha, after rereading that last sentence, I now realize how sad that goal is.  It don't matter.  Something is better than nothing. Keep me to my word, readers.

In good news, I can no longer feel the big lump that used to be under my clavicle to the left of my sternum.  The only palpable thing left is a tiny bump where my biopsy was perfomed. The lump that was further up my clavicle has gone down as well!

Guys, I feel really good about that :)

We've been walking (and starting to run) for 2 weeks now. Now I don't feel right at the end of the day if I haven't walked 2 miles

A photo posted by Karen (@thekaren) on Apr 3, 2015 at 9:43pm PDT

Rocking the swim cap look because it's a teensy bit chilly tonight #nohair

A photo posted by Karen (@thekaren) on Apr 4, 2015 at 6:02pm PDT