1 Year On

It's been exactly 1 year since I was officially diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  It's wild thinking about all the things I've done since that day.

Over the last year, I've had:

• 3 cardiologist visits and heart echos
• 4 PET scans 
• 11 Lupron, Neulasta, and Neupogen shots (I've lost count of all the fertility meds I had to inject into my belly fat)
• 12 ABVD chemo infusions + all the supporting meds
• 20 radiation treatments 
• ~20 oncologist visits
• ~42 blood tests/CBCs done for fertility and blood count monitoring

And I feel like I got off easy knowing that other cancer treatments require daily infusions or continuous round-the-clock infusions.  My oncologist visits have tapered off since I stopped chemo - I see him every other month now.  I'm still getting monthly Zometa infusions (I think I've got 3 more to go) to help reduce calcium leaving my bones.  I've got another PET scan coming up in 3 months.  A year ago, I was so scared with the cancer diagnosis but took comfort in my both my cardiothoracic surgeon and oncologist's confidence in my treatment.  Today, I'm so relieved, happy, grateful that I made it through treatment and all the shitty side effects.  I stood in my closet this morning while getting ready for work taking deep breaths and just being SO HAPPY I could do that without pain.  A year ago, deep breaths made gurgling sounds (phlegm?) and sent me into bad coughing fits because that stupid tumor Betty was in the way of my left lung.  I was popping pain pills like candy (no but seriously, narcotics addiction crossed my mind a few times, but I'm clean, guys). These days, the only pills I pop are allergy pills.  Fuck cedar. :(  I will beat cancer but I will never beat cedar pollen.

Happy New Year!

Happy 2016 everyone! I hope your holidays were awesome, just awesome. It feels like the beginning of a 'new chapter' in my life (so cliche)! Our Boston trip in December was so much fun. We walked the Freedom Trail over the course of 2 days and took almost every tour on it. We ate SO MANY lobster rolls! We saw so many historic sights and I (re)learned a ton of American history. The full album of pics is HERE! They're good, I plomise. Here's a sneak peak!

Walking to Bunker Hill

One of many many lobster rolls

Me and an ass (not Damien)

In the new Massachusetts State House

Signing our names onto copper sheets to be put onto the USS Constitution

Throwing some tea into the Boston harbor

Walking around the MIT campus

Ice cream at Toscanini's

We spent some time in Dallas during the weekend of my brother's graduation (you guys, he finally graduated!) and also around Christmas.  It was great to see family and celebrate!

Happy Birthday!

Christmas!

Fam

Congrats Kevin :)

And we went to our company holiday party too.  We did so much in December.. it was all that pent up energy from not doing anything but cancer things for 11/12ths of 2015.  January is so tame by comparison!

Studio 54 holiday partaaaay

I saw my oncologist between all the activities above and got good news about my last PET scan in November.  The mass has shrunk some more!!  and the radioactive uptake has decreased!!  The mass in my chest is still being a little bitch but I don't have any cancerous activity below my diaphragm anymore.  I also had some uptake in my esophagus indicative of reflux (oops?).  My next PET is in April.

Honestly, I haven't thought much of this whole cancer thing in the last month.  It doesn't really cross my mind since life has been so distracting.  And then David Bowie, Alan Rickman, and Rene Angelil (Celine Dion's husband) die of cancer and it's all over the press and social media.  It's a jolt back to reality.  I'm so so so lucky.

So lucky.

I haven't quite kicked cancer's ass yet but I sure feel like I have!  I started the Couch to 5k program with my friend Craig and he's been keeping me honest.  I got to week 4 and then started slacking due to holidays (although I did run at the hotel gym in Boston and on my parents' treadmill!) and due to an ingrown toenail (boo).  This is apparently a common side effect of chemo nails.  My nails darkened and thickened due to chemo.  6 months post-chemo, the dark chemo parts are STILL growing out.  I saw a podiatrist and got the ingrown portion removed.  I was so squeamish and couldn't bear to see him do whatever he did to my toe.  I thought giving myself 3-4 shots in the stomach for fertility meds was bad... but this was worse.  UGH anesthesia shots in the toe SUCK.  So C25K is on hold for now.. hopefully for not much longer.

My hair is growing out nicely!  It's more salt and pepper now but whoooo cares.  I do want to dye it though but haven't found a color that appeals to me.

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my fine need biopsy.  Happy biopsy-versary to me?  Jan 7 was the 1 year anniversary of when I found out I had a mass in my chest.  I remember sitting in the left-turn bay of Braker Ln waiting to turn left onto Jollyville after leaving the doctor's office to return to work after I had had a chest x-ray and CT scan back-to-back.  My nurse called and said they were going to schedule me for a biospy consultation.  I pull into the parking lot of Great Hill Baptist Church and park so I could talk and process the info.  Everytime I make the same turn and pass that parking lot, I always replay the sequence of events. I replay texting Damien to tell him.  I just didn't understand the gravity then.  It's so surreal looking back.

I went through so much in 2015.  It's overwhelming to reflect back on it because I just want to move forward. 2016 is going to be so much better because how can it not be!?!  Damien and I are planning our honeymoon and our wedding celebration (but honeymoon first, because...priorities).  We're also coming up on 1 year of mawwiage!  Time flies when you're happy.

But seriously, look at all this hair.